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There are three basic components to meditation that makes it so magically reviving. First – body relaxation – obviously tensed muscles create stress so the opposite is good, complete short term drop of tension. 

Second – the mind is taken off its usual worry circuit and into an empty plain, which again gives the body a chance to relax and recoup instead of constantly reacting to our thought process.  This state of calm means that the body could begin to self-heal.

The third one might come as a surprise to some people. During the proper meditation the breathing activity slows down. There are longer intervals between each exhale and inhale (the pause before the next inhalation). And the breathing becomes shallower like in a deep sleep. 

This third effect I would like to look at more closely today. As it’s also the cause of profound healing that is happening to the body during and as the result of meditation.  Yogis for the longest time were practicing pranayama – the art or technique of controlling and slowing one’s breathing ascribing wonderful properties to such practices. The extreme example was of some ascetically accomplished persons to stay underwater for about 30 days without breathing. 

Yet we all know that oxygen is absolute must for our body cells to support life. So we are always advised to inhale deeper and keep it longer inside before exhaling. It took a scientist totally unfamiliar with yoga to prove the deep breathing wrong.  Konstantin Buteyko, Soviet professor of medicine, claimed that deep breathing only increases the amount of unusable oxygen in the blood stream which doesn’t guarantee but hinders its reception by the body cells.  He is said to help Prince Charles to overcome his horse hair allergy, who referred to controlled breathing as a real help to allergy and asthma sufferers in his passionate essay for The Guardian in 2004. 

The controlled breathing method is based on the fact that proper absorption of the oxygen is dependent on the level of CO2 (carbon dioxide) in the blood. At maximum it must be equal to 6.7 % in the blood stream. Routinely people have up to 3,7 %. By slowing down the breathing process and making it shallower the body’s ability to retain CO2 increases which then supports the ability of the cells to receive oxygen from the blood stream. 

By practicing slower and shallower breathing for couple of weeks you can increase the level of CO2 (which body produces naturally as the result of its function) by one to two points. At such a mark things like asthma and other respiratory illnesses including allergy immune disorders are claimed to improve to the point on nonexistence. 

The Buteyko method of controlled breathing recommends practicing relaxation with slower and shallower breathing 15 minutes three times a day. This brings us back to meditation. Its profound healing effect does have a scientific basis although not widely recognised. 

 © Dana Johnson

I’d like to share this story as it sounds so familiar!

http://kimberlysnyder.com/blog/2015/02/06/beauty-detox-principles-helped-stephanie-manage-autoimmune-disease/

What if every person on this planet starts their day with this quote:

This is the topic of our upcoming workshop at Chiltern Escapes retreat for women this Friday and Saturday 24th and 25th April. 

We will introduce and discuss these two great practical concepts: the first one is from a great psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi who has been studying happiness for forty years of his professional life; the second – from women’s coach and author Tara Mohr.  Their respective books Flow and Playing Big brought a very fresh and energising perspective into the world of personal growths and fulfilment. 

At these Chiltern Escapes dates the plan is to get into the nitty gritty of the practical application of these powerful ideas, recognise our own states of flow and opportunities of playing big in personal life, relationship and work. I am very excited and looking forward to it! 

At the time I saw this poster on Facebook I commented, ‘It’s not a problem.’ Now, when preparing to my next workshop at our next Chiltern Escapes day on 24 April, I’d like to add a bit more, ‘The problem is not what other people think of us, the problem is what we think other people think of us because mostly they don’t even think of us!’

It is our inner critic filling in the gaps of missing information and we believe it. At our our workshop we will examine our inner critic and the ways to deal with it. It happens so that women’s inner critic is much stronger and more negative than that of men. And it causes serious grievance for many at their work place as women often underachieve and shy away from promotions and opportunities as well as are more sensetive to office politics.

It is so for many reasons. But one of the basic ones lays in the difference between feminine and masculine energies. Masculine energy minimizes and dismisses problems and criticism in order for its carrier to survive, move on and lead. Feminine energy magnifies and exaggerates problems, because it’s more sensitive to  other people’s feelings in order for everybody else (babies, young children, old and fragile people) to survive and thrive around the carriers of feminine energy. I have to add here that both adult men and women could be in each energy depending on situation and their own state, so when you read masculine it doesn’t mean all men only, the same is true about feminine and women, that’s why I used ‘carrier of the energy’ instead. Knowing this we all can adopt flexibility at work and home in order to lead more productive, happier and fulfilled lives.

Back to dealing with our inner critic. While we cannot get rid of it completely we can harness it. There are a lot of exercises for our Friday group of women to see the ways their inner critic is not helping them at work or home, when that mostly negative and nagging voice is exposed many women experience great changes for themselves in work environment and intimate relationships. Also the process helps to distinguish inner critic from the voice of inner wisdom which speaks with warmth, compassion and positive perspective. I’m looking forward to our workshop on Friday.
 

Thank you Elaine! Really helpful post – Emotional Snakes and Ladders – overcoming the negativity bias.

For many of us, emotions are things that happen us – sometimes a tornado that blows us off our feet or a sinking that silently drags us down. Or a feeling of elation as fleeting as the sun on a winter afternoon or a burst of joy – here and gone in an instant.
Recent research in neuroscience informs us that our brains are wired to be focussing on what is wrong with things. It is known as the « negativity bias ». Not only is the negativity bias an evolutionary trait of humans but we can see that it is also a trait of nations and maybe even the world. If we see nails everywhere, our only response will be a hammer, right ?
We know that putting on a happy face or ignoring suffering will not effectively allow you to « manage » your emotions, or « manage » your stress. Now we learn that the brain is being sculpted from each emotion, perception and experience and slowly but surely we accumulate a mind that is wired from our lived experiences.
Much as your body is built from the foods you eat, your mind is built from the experiences you have. Rick Hansen

Many of us we have a limited repertoire of emotions. Under duress, and depending on your personality and how you have wired your brain over the years, we tend to have a fairly predictable emotional response – anger or tears, action or withdrawal, etc. If moderate to chronic stress becomes a regular state of affairs in our body mind – and this is the modern condition – it makes us vulnerable. Stress releases cortisal into the brain that stimulates an alarm bell which sets off the amygdala which in turn kicks off the fight and flight response. It is all good except when chronic stress becomes a way of life. Cortisol actually kills neurons in the hypocampus and what should be passing mental states become lasting neural states and gradually change the very structure of the brain so we become even more sensitive to stress.
Stess impairs our immune and digestion functions, depletes our neural transmitters, and makes us vulnerable to such emotional states as depression and frustration and anger, which in turn can result in becoming driven and anxious, or on-going feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
This is important knowledge : the brain is all set up for processing those negative emotions of fear, anxiety, anger. In fact, our brains are built to be continually scouting for what is amiss, wrong or potentially problematic so that we can have a better chance of surviving an attack or a danger in the environment. Or the subjective perception of one.
Rick Hanson, neuroscientist and meditation teacher refers to this « negativity bias » as being in the brain’s « red zone » – the brain, he says, is like velcro for negative emotions (they tend to stick) and teflon for positive emotions (they tend to slide quickly away). Simply put, the brain is good at learning from bad experiences and bad at learning from good experiences.
It is clear that we all need to overcome our brains’ hardwired negativity bias – but how ? Let’s first have a look at what emotions we are talking about. This Emotional Scale is taken from Abraham Hicks work and shows the way one emotion feeds another as we go progressively either up or down the emotional spiral :
This scale reminds me of the child’s game Snakes and Ladders. As you can see, you can’t get from Depression to Joy in one step – like a ladder you have to climb up or slide down – It may be good to know that Anger is already higher up on the emotional ladder than Despair ! A victim mentality is very low on the scale – right down there with Powerlessness. If you can play the Appreciation Game (a Law of Attraction Coaching Process) you can climb steadily the ladder right up to the top alongside Love and Joy.
Today we have abundant scientific research that allows us to understand what is happening in our body and minds when we experience what is commonly called « negative » emotions. Sometimes, we aren’t even aware that we are on a downward emotional spiral because we are accuustomed to it and we have put in place some coping strategies – until we suffer from ongoing back pain, or sciatica or a chronic illness and we have to pay attention.
Mindfulness practices propose that we start by bringing into our awareness our emotional state, as it is showing up in our bodies and as it is expressed in our narratives (the things that we are telling ourselves). But it is all very well to recognize that one is truly pissed off or melancholy or depressed – to seek the cure from an external source in the form of prescription medication or alternative remedies (millepertuis for depression..) but the source of the emotion often remains hidden from your awareness and so continues to generate the anxiety or the anger in more subterranean ways. The body never lies !
Living in constant stress has become a way of life. In our modern world we are training our brains to constantly zap from one screen to another, from one information bite to another. This actually contributes to avoidance strategies. Whatever the psyche cannot integrate, the body will express. We could go so far as to say that whatever the physical symptom, there is always an emotional and mental component to it. If we believe that we have no choice but to continue in a job we hate or in a relationship that has become empty or hateful then our brains will make this a reality.
To what extent can learning the skill of emotional literacy and learning how to climb up the emotional ladder affect our health, the quality of our life, our relationships and even our life expectancy ? When our cortisol levels are high due to stress and our brain is sending panic signals because of a perceived threat to our needs or well-being, the fight and flight response will take over, shutting down the other bodily functions that regulate our digestion, our immunity, our sleep and our ability to cultivate relationship. The stress response will impact our ability for growth and healing. In fact we only have two basic responses to life : contraction and expansion. When our cells are in contraction we are in defense mode and we cannot grow, learn or heal. When we are in expansion mode we can heal, we can develop pour capacities, and we can grow in all ways
The buddhist traditions understood this a long time ago. They taught that one could learn how to deliberately and purposefully create certain emotions – in order to create happiness in oneself and one’s environment – regardless of circumstances. I think of it as rather like cooking with the chemicals of emotions ! A dash of appreciation, a handful of gratitude, several whisks of compassion and before we know it the brain is releasing a chemical cocktail into the body – the cocktail of well being and expansion.
Research is indicating what the wisdom traditions have taught for millennia – When we are at ease, feeling that our needs for safety, satisfaction and affection are met, the level of stress hormones in the body will decrease and the chemistry of expansion will increase. I call the chemistry of expansion anything that allows our body to do what it is supposed to do – allow the immune system to be powerful, repair cells, destroy viruses, heal us deeply. Modern life is preventing our body from doing what it does best – heal us !
So what if emotional literacy was simply knowing how to shift the stress reaction to a deliberate response on behalf of well-being ?
In the illustration below from the Heart Math Institute, we see that very different signals between the heart and the brain are picked up when we are in these two different modes – the emotion of frustration creates havoc and confusion as the body interprets this as a situation that needs a stress response – fight, flight or paralysis !
On the other hand, the emotion of appreciation creates a heart frequency that is harmonious and steady – we are letting our body and mind know that

« I am safe, I am loved, I am competent » – this is why Affirmations when they are said with real intent and emotion can indeed heal.
Doing yoga and any exercise reduces our cortisol levels. This is why we feel better after exercise even if the problem that we are experiencing or the situation that is causing us anxiety remains unchanged. After 20 to 30 minutes of exercise we do not perceive the problem in the same helpless way.
This three-step process comes from Rick Hansen again. I have used it on myself and with my coaching clients.
Step 1 : Turn positive facts into positive experiences – Good things keep happening all around us, but much of the time we don’t notice them; even when we do, we hardly feel them. Instead, actively look for good news, particularly the little stuff of daily life: the faces of children, the smell of an orange, a memory from a happy vacation, a minor success at work, and so on. Whatever positive facts you find, bring a mindful awareness to them—open up to them and let them affect you.

Step 2 : Savor the experience – Make positive experiences last by staying with them for 5, 10, even 20 seconds; don’t let your attention skitter off to something else. Savoring positive experiences intensifies our positive response to them. The longer something is held in awareness, the more emotionally stimulating it will be and the stronger the trace of it becomes in our memory. This allows you to internalize them so that you carry them inside you and don’t need to reach for them in the outer world.
Step 3 : Let the experience sink in – Finally, imagine or feel that the experience is entering deeply into your mind and body, like the warmth of the sun on your face, like water into a sponge, or a jewel placed in a treasure chest in your heart. Keep relaxing your body and absorbing the emotions, sensations, and thoughts of the experience.
We know that thoughts and emotions create vibrations and that these frequencies affect in turn what we are experiencing and what is happening to us.
Without going down the road of mastering our emotions and reducing the palette of our emotional experience, we can learn how to ride those choppy waves and intervene with mindfully and deliberately using this three step process to climb the emotional ladder, rewire our brain by looking for, savouring and intensifying positive experiences.
Now that you have learned that you can fabricate emotional experiences, memories and responses that contribute to your well-being and off-set the brain’s negativity bias, try paying attention to the next time you are dwelling on the negative. Start climbing up the emotional spiral rung by rung – this will not only re-wire your brain but you will have experiences of heart-centred emotions more often and for longer periods of time. 

As we are preparing for our mother-daughter days this weekend at Chiltern Escapes a lot of brainstorming going on among us – Debra, the artist and founder of Minimonetsuk.com, Dyann, the host of the Chiltern Escapes and myself. We are aiming to create a very intimate and caring space in time and place where one could pause and rejoice in this powerful energy of the primary feeling or even instinct of mother-daughter love.

Debra is going to take our Friday group into the magic planes of artistic expression or application (whichever closer to one’s heart’s desire) where mums and daughters can work together on the same piece of artwork in the serene environment of the Chilterns Escapes where nature is only a step away.

For the coaching session we were discussing various topics touching on creating beautiful relationships. There are three main ingredients for those:

• The quality of our thinking about self and the other person one relates to, this depends on lots of things such as our beliefs and thoughts, our own and others’ six human needs met and not and more;
• Presence – are we with the person mentally as well as physically (there are different communication skills to explore and practice, which I will write more about in future posts);
• Time – as in time for communication (does anyone actually know that the best time for creating loving connection in family and relationship starts from 6 pm?:)) and time as in the feeling left behind after the time spend together which brings us back to the thinking mode.

For the purposes of the Escapes day we will only be able to reflect on the first subject – relationship to self, which starts with the quality of our thinking about self which affects how we relate to others. Here we are going to explore Tara Mohr’s Inner Critic and Inner Mentor from her Playing Big book.

The reason we are starting with Inner Critic is because feelings and emotions are our bodies’ physical reactions to our thoughts and beliefs. It’s a simple thing of thinking nicely of our selves, feeling great and then being able to act on it and produce better results.

And mother-daughter, mother-child connection is the most emphatic connection of all existing in human relationships. Empathy is our ability to feel what others feel. It’s been proven by neuroscience that the feelings experienced by mother are directly transmitted to the child, daughter in particular. So whatever a mother’s Inner Critic says rubs off on her daughter’s mind in no time! Affecting our daughter’s behaviour in a good way is possible only through love and it starts with addressing our own thoughts – negative and positive – whichever mother has her daughter will feel, too and it will show. In the end giving love means having it first.