I’d like to share this story as it sounds so familiar!
‘You must have goals but your happiness cannot be tied to these goals. You must be happy before you attain your goals.’
To me this poster represents the whole paradigm of personal development. While as a coach I help you to set and achieve your goals and dreams and align them to your core values and examine limiting beliefs our first step will be finding your happiness and certainty in the present as this is the key or formula for success – (1) being happy in the present moment, (2) having a future vision and (3) acting upon it. Acting comes naturally when you have first two in place. When you don’t have present happiness only a huge future vision you are set for stress, anxiety and eventually burnout; when you have none of the ingredients it’s a negative spiral down to depression and apathy; present happiness without future vision often ends up in boredom and stagnation called ‘current reality trap’ in the poster.
As a Mindvalley ‘forever student’ I continuously learn from the advanced coaches, mentors and teachers in the field as they say that the fairy dust or brain power rubs off and being in the company of happy and forward looking people elevates others around them. If you are trying to change your life and make a positive difference it’s only natural to hang out with people who are positive, happy and successfull.
What if every person on this planet starts their day with this quote:
This is the topic of our upcoming workshop at Chiltern Escapes this Friday and Saturday 24th and 25th April.
We will introduce and discuss these two great practical concepts: the first one is from a great psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi who has been studying happiness for forty years of his professional life; the second – from women’s coach and author Tara Mohr. Their respective books Flow and Playing Big brought a very fresh and energising perspective into the world of personal growths and fulfilment.
At these Chiltern Escapes dates the plan is to get into the nitty gritty of the practical application of these powerful ideas, recognise our own states of flow and opportunities of playing big in personal life, relationship and work. I am very excited and looking forward to it!
At the time I saw this poster on Facebook I commented, ‘It’s not a problem.’ Now, when preparing to my next workshop at our next Chiltern Escapes day on 24 April, I’d like to add a bit more, ‘The problem is not what other people think of us, the problem is what we think other people think of us because mostly they don’t even think of us!’
It is our inner critic filling in the gaps of missing information and we believe it. At our our workshop we will examine our inner critic and the ways to deal with it. It happens so that women’s inner critic is much stronger and more negative than that of men. And it causes serious grievance for many at their work place as women often underachieve and shy away from promotions and opportunities as well as are more sensetive to office politics.
It is so for many reasons. But one of the basic ones lays in the difference between feminine and masculine energies. Masculine energy minimizes and dismisses problems and criticism in order for its carrier to survive, move on and lead. Feminine energy magnifies and exaggerates problems, because it’s more sensitive to other people’s feelings in order for everybody else (babies, young children, old and fragile people) to survive and thrive around the carriers of feminine energy. I have to add here that both adult men and women could be in each energy depending on situation and their own state, so when you read masculine it doesn’t mean all men only, the same is true about feminine and women, that’s why I used ‘carrier of the energy’ instead. Knowing this we all can adopt flexibility at work and home in order to lead more productive, happier and fulfilled lives.
Back to dealing with our inner critic. While we cannot get rid of it completely we can harness it. There are a lot of exercises for our Friday group of women to see the ways their inner critic is not helping them at work or home, when that mostly negative and nagging voice is exposed many women experience great changes for themselves in work environment and intimate relationships. Also the process helps to distinguish inner critic from the voice of inner wisdom which speaks with warmth, compassion and positive perspective. I’m looking forward to our workshop on Friday.